So.. are you a male? If not, what’s the real meaning in having a body that must wear a man’s skin? Since the dawn of time, when a boy cries he may be seen as being painfully delicate. For some odd reason, emotional suppression is tied inextricably to masculinity. It’s as if internalizing your feelings means something strange and effeminate. Time to throw away that old script.
To start off, note that neither stress nor mental health issues discriminate against anyone. Everyone has to put up with the demands of work, relationships, or life. Yet many a chap feels he must just take this on the chin and keep going. But let us remember: vulnerability is not the opposite of strength.
Take Jake Luke, a thirty-year-old bachelor. He’s successful in his job and yet still feels something missing. Despite his circle of close friends, the big load of emotional baggage he’s been carrying around is starting to wear pretty heavily. So Jake finally got up and talked with some close friends; it felt like air coming back into his deflating balloon. It is funny how simply having a confidential chat with someone who understands can do a world of good for you.
Meanwhile, recognizing that you need help is only the first step in climbing this staircase. Picking a counselor can be likened on one level to finding a smart new suit that fits really well. Some dudes prefer their therapy straight-up and direct; others need someone who will listen more before giving guidance depending upon what’s next with life.
Men need to understand that psychological help is not a luxury–it’s practical. Some may look at it as hiring a coach, somebody who can watch their blind spots and help them plan. The game plan is your own, of course, but just those couple of extra pairs of eyes in the grandstand can make all difference in world.
The thing that really works is building an atmosphere in which men feel comfortable sharing, minus the worry of being judged. It’s like the perfect sport–one of no referees and no penalties for being human. And sure, it’s half-frightening untried ground, as though stepping on to the dance floor with two left feet. But in time, who knows-you might find some sort of beat.
Opening up isn’t about hosting a pity party, until it finally occurs to you that some others might help if only so that you can carry the load better. As any tree, though strong, can benefit by good soil, so who is the man who cannot get some nourishing support?